Kaya has a quotation from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on her Facebook page:
Clementine: This is it, Joel. It’s going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.
I actually didn’t recognize the source of the quotation until after she’d died. A mutual friend, searching for some clues as to why she died, googled it. She’d never seen it and wondered if I had any insight as to the film’s significance for Kaya. “Oh, I loved that movie,” I said. And so, I’m rewatching it tonight in a whole new light. Clementine’s mania. The couple’s mutual desire to erase painful memories. Joel’s desperation, as Clementine slips away, to hold onto the things that made him both love and fear her. Loss and love. Madness and forgetting.
I think a lot about memory. About honoring someone’s memory. About forgetting. About wishing you could forget. About the inescapability of certain memories, even though, much like Joel and Clementine, you think you’ve done everything possible to destroy the evidence and extract the thoughts.
I think the holiday melancholia hit me tonight. I’m certain it’s connected to this same sadness in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: this feeling of loss and emptiness and absence.
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