Hi readers,
It’s me again.
Sorry it’s been a few days.
But, on the bright side, I do have a bit to talk about.
So here goes nothing.
First on the list: Pocky.
I. Finally. Found. Pocky.
I was ecstatic, because I’ve been looking everywhere for it,
And I finally found it on Wednesday.
It was amazing.
Even Sara liked it.
Second thing,
October 1st was Sara’s birthday (Happy birthday my amazing friend!)
So, yesterday, me, her, Shannon, Neil, Kayla, and Catherine,
All went downtown to celebrate her birthday.
We left at around 6, to go to a restaurant called…well, wouldn’t you like to know.
I can’t tell you the restaurant name,
Because then it’s obvious where I live.
Anyways, we had an amazing time.
I also bought a Japanese-English dictionary when we went to a bookstore.
There were very funny moments,
But I don’t feel like getting into that.
Next item on the list.
MLIA.
Best. Site. Ever. Besides. Fanfiction.
I literally spent four hours reading all the things.
It’s like FML…but soooo much cooler.
The other day my class asked our latin teacher what makes him the teacher and us the students. He responded with “Well you see kids…my chair spins and your’s does not.” I have never had so much faith in our education system. MLIA
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I tried flirting with the officer to get him to lower my ticket. If I was a girl, I think this would have worked much better. MLIA
Yesterday, I learned that my friend’s initials spell RAWR. Not only am I convinced that he’s secretly a dinosaur, but I have never been more jealous in my life. MLIA.
So, in conclusion,
MLIA, is the best site for this site of thing.
Better than FML,
And better than Texts From Last Night.
‘Nuff said.
Onto the next item.
Facebook Pirate Language.
I’ve never been more immersed in Facebook,
Than when I set my language to “Pirate”.
This was around the same time I was on MLIA,
So, that was my best night of forever.
This is the best new Paramore song.
I’m kind of obsessed with it.
A lot.
Oh,
Also,
If you care to know,
I wrote two new one-shots, and updated The Cobwebs Of His Imagination,
On my Fanfiction.
Link is here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/~breathlesstomb
And, lastly,
I recently wrote a weird, rant-thing.
Well…it’s not really a rant.
It’s kind of odd though.
I was cold and tired when I wrote this,
And kind of in a daze.
I’ve never been more confused by myself.
Anyways, here it is,
My intermost feelings (or at least, some) in words.
It’s All About Control
Life is complicated. It’s the truth—the only one we know for certain. And whether it be good or bad, nothing is easy. Nothing turns out as we expected, and not many people expect it to. We like to make drama. It’s our God complex; the one thing we love to have control over. We can twist and change certain situations. It amuses us; it depresses us; it brings us to the very highest peaks we can reach, then drops us down.
We all say we wish for simplicity, yet we strive to make our lives harder. Us—humans—… we’re such liars. We don’t have morals. We don’t have inhibitions. They are simply figments of our minds, the things we think we can control. It’s all about control, and it always has been. That’s all that matters to our puny, shrivelled, beating hearts. Morals do not exist.
And neither do we.
It would be all too simple to live an easy life. If we all tried. But, then again, when has easy ever been easy? Once again, it’s all about control. That tiny part of us that longs to play God. In every opportunity, we make a decision. In every decision—or nearly all—we practice our control. But does it matter? Do we simply have to be in control of everything we do?
Sometimes.
There is a fine line, between right and wrong. Sometimes things play with that line, spinning it to suit its desires. We all have our own warped versions of reality, just like we all have our own versions of ethics. What might be right for you, may not be right for some. Do we know of these principalities, or do we simply follow our hearts?
Our hearts do not possess thoughts. Our hearts are blind, as is love. As is life. The road we travel on is one we have never quite seen up close. There are no bumps in the road that we continuously trip over, except the ones that we accidently go over or the ones we purposely drive through. How do we know where we’ll end up, when we have no idea how we’re getting there to start with? Some questions cannot be answered with just one response.
We are all deep. In thoughts and our actions. We can be shallow though, and we can be vain. There is a small conscience in all of us, though not all of our consciences are the exact same. Whether we choose to listen to those consciences is our own decision. Control comes back. Time and time again, we try to change the situations, to suit our own pleasures.
Humans aren’t pretty. Humans can be scum. Humans aren’t all we think of ourselves to be. Not even the most beautiful and sweetest human is as pure as we’d all like to think. Do we show this in our words and actions, or do we simply keep it locked away, hidden from our sights? No two people are alike. We change. We take control. If we could stay the same, would we even choose to be?
Life isn’t safe. Life isn’t pretty. Sometimes, there are things we can’t control. And this kills us. Because, whether we choose to admit it or not, we all relish in control. We feel safer knowing we are in complete control of the situations. We have fears, because there are things we cannot control. We have fears, because there are certain things we don’t want to control, and sometimes that frightens us. Our fears may be petty, but they may also be grave.
Confrontation excites us as much as it bothers us. Irritation once again comes with a waver in control. Ripples in the currents we tried to keep safe. Tremors in the grounds we tried to keep stable. Cracks in the glass we tried to peer through. This is what we reject at first sight. It slowly sinks in though, no matter how hard we try to push it away. A shaking hand scribbling across a blank page.
Sometimes our control on things is overwhelming. It’s too much for one person to cope with. We are not Atlas. We cannot carry the world on our shoulders. We do not possess the strength, nor the will. As much as some of us would like to take on the world, there is a breaking point for all of us. A point where it becomes much too unbearable to handle. We take out our frustrations on others, trying to take even more control…or lose it. It’s all about domination.
Love is tricky. Love is a fickle thing. We cannot please everyone, no matter if we want to or not. But…in such days and age, love is all but a myth. There are reasons the elders doubt the children of the world. There is no maturity in irrationality, though sometimes absurdity is all we have. Once again, things become complicated. We take control. We lose control. We try to escape.
There is no escape.
Options matter not. Death is not an option. Stress cannot rejuvenate our minds, nor our hearts. Then why do we revel in it? Why do we find absolute delight in causing others to feel the burn that we ourselves have felt countless times? Stress is something that can or cannot be controlled. Will we ever know for sure though? Will we ever fully comprehend the meaning of the word enough?
No.
Excuses are unacceptable. There is no excuse for anything. They are our alibis, and whether or not they exist is another matter altogether. We constantly tempt fate. We switch moods as easily as switching songs. Moods are the soundtracks of our lives. We are not one person, but hundreds, screeching and pulling, trying to become one. It can be violent. It can be messy. It never prevails.
Are we ever truly happy? Satisfied with the way things are? Are we, or are we simply trying to convince ourselves? We constantly switch our paths, without us ever any the wiser. There is no originality, as we were never the same to begin with. We cannot strive for something we already have. Do we feel the need to continue on as if nothing has happened, or can things be changed once again?
Control comes back.
The End
And, I guess that’s it for today.
I’ll update soon.
Bye guys!
–Phia–
