So I’ve thought a lot lately about how much life changes you. It’s obvious, we all know that we’re going to grow and move on. I was looking back on old relationships (friends, lovers, etc) and laughed. I found an ex-boyfriend and friended him on Facebook. Eeek. Yes I did the horrible deed. What happened surprised me though. Instead of the normal nostalgia of past love, I was disgusted. Here this person I spent years loving, taking care of, encouraging, nurturing, crying over is a jerk. I mean, a really big jerk. He’s all cocky now, and he has NOTHING to be proud of. He’s exactly the person I would never ever dream of being with. He still thinks it is cool to have lame jobs, goes to shows, plays his music, but ::gasp:: he now thinks he is cooler than everyone else. He enjoys putting other people down, making fun of those who are not in his circle, and is vegetarian. If you knew the context, you’d be shocked. After two years of dating he had his first salad after me pestering him. He only at chicken fingers! Now he’s so into himself and his life, he actually appears to be obsessed with…himself. This is not the type of self-love we ladies like to encourage and strive to have. We’re talking about an all out love-fest for being an ass. Eww. I wasted that much time on him? Yet I felt some satisfaction, I admit, at realizing I was too good for him and ending that relationship was one of the most brilliant moves on my part. Where would I be if I was still with Jerkface? That’s a scary thought.
Already my life is a complete change. I began to think about how much further I am to reaching my goals than many other people I have moved past. Although I’m still a mess (you really don’t want to see my bedroom), not able to do everything on my own (hey, I cook…the boyfriend should have to clean right? I mean, I have the right to be lazy on that front!), I do take care of myself and others well (I think). I make ends meet, and I’m moving towards a healthy life. I have the most amazing family, boyfriend, dog, and even my work is pretty great. 
So why is it that we fall for these guys when we are young and really believe that our love is going to change them? That they will suddenly just realize out of the blue that they want the same life as you, have the same goals, will want to make you happy until the day you die, can keep up a home, marry you and bring you the children you’ve always dreamed of? Are we trying to fail ourselves? Maybe. I really believe we are all pretty idealistic, hoping for something that we might not ever get. The point is, we all have a male in our past that we can look back and say ‘What the hell was that all about?’ and whether we can laugh about it does not matter. We got ourselves out and we feel encouraged to move forward with what will truly fulfill us.
I believe that this makes us women strong. Not the kind of strength that most men would consider important or even, possibly, call a strength. We have the ability to really look back and absorb the truths of our life. We might make mistakes like meeting that random dude from online at a coffee shop who looks about 100lbs heavier than in his photo and after realizing it was indeed him, deciding to be the nice person and sit and talk to him just to have him take one look at your body and tell you “You’re not my type. I like my girls thinner.” while you almost choke on your Venti Caramel Macchiato. Yes, Mr. 400lb Man just told me, a curvy girl who had an honest picture up and at least has a pretty face and a strong mind, that I was not good enough for him because apparently I’m fat! At any rate a woman’s strength is knowing where to put her love and energy. We are gifted with a lot of intuition. We instinctively know what we need and want in life, and as long as we can keep on the path with the least amount of detours we get stronger in our beliefs. Whether that be our goals, or our real values, we become a lot more mindful of our decisions. We stick up for them and believe in them.
The book that may change everything.
I got a recommendation for a book called Strength’s Finder 2.0 which you can purchase at Amazon for $10. Instead of talking about what we’re not good at, and what we struggle to do, this book tells you what you are actually good at. As a woman, I think way too much about what I should be doing, could be doing, wish I was better at, etc. It’s really not helpful. I mean, I’m never going to like washing dishes. I’m never going to be an athlete. I’m really bad about procrastinating even things I like to do. I get stressed out about things that make absolutely no sense. You probably don’t want me to be the one making decisions about what is worth keeping when sorting through the house. I will be the one saying ‘oh but that’s so cute’ and not thinking about how functional it is to keep cards from my 4th grade. Do we get further by worrying and obsessing about a life we don’t have? Not really. It generally just makes miserable – not a very strong point for woman-kind. What this book does is explain that instead of working on ourselves constantly to be better at things we are not that great at, we should be looking at our strengths and improving them. If we spent more time thinking about all the positives in life, we would certainly be more content! Why wouldn’t we want to learn what makes us special and helpful to the world? We should! We should make what we’re good at great! If we worked on what our strong points are, we could improve our lifestyles monetarily, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Tonight I’m going to take the test. Oh yes, it has a test. Nice thing is we can’t get a bad grade! There are 5 things that our strengths in this book, and I’m going to find out what exactly mine are. This is my step towards becoming an even stronger female. I encourage you to do the same! $10 to make me realize a better way to deal with life, give me a pick up that is not java induced (speaking of which, this is only costing me 2 of my Starbucks drinks), and maybe teach me on how to improve those…well that’s totally worth it.
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